About 5 months ago I decided, sort of on a whim, but sort of not, to get a dog. To be fair my kids and I had just watched Homeward Bound… so my judgment might have been a bit skewed… at the time. Anyways, this cute little guy popped up on my facebook page and I decided to send over a little message. Well, 24 hours later, this tan, curly haired medium labradoodle was now ours. We did the name change thing… sorry, to whoever that might offend, but we did. His name is Archer, or as we call him: Archie Farchie, Archer Lou or Archer Boy.
He’s really cute. Also. He’s a lot to take care of. I have 2 kids. I’m a single mom. I run a business. And yet, taking care of this dog has been one of the most challenging additions in my life so far. My whole life now revolves around this dog and his needs and yada yada yada (if I talked to you about this potential to getting a dog, please hear this: you were right… it’s a lot). Anyways, he’s also very high energy, being almost 2, he needs all the attention and walks and tricks and training and busyness. So, he’s a lot.
Well, let me tell you… I’ve got the basics down.
- Daily walks? You bet. Twice a day.
- Training? I hired a trainer, although I think we are currently failing dog-training school.
- Healthy diet? I mean… sure.
- Cuddles and snuggles? This dog sleeps in my bed. I am that kind of person now.
I am really really good at checking the boxes and making sure I am doing what needs to happen in order to take care of him. However, I am realizing that there is this other need that I tend to neglect and it’s definitely taking a toll on sweet (well, sometimes sweet) Archer.
Archer is taken care of.
But Archer needs to play. He needs to chase after squirrels and play fetch and dig and run and all the things. It’s totally fine when my kids are here, because they manage “play” with Archer Boy, but when it’s just me… I tend to neglect that. Then we have BIG SAD Archer or BIG MAD Archer who won’t make eye contact with me and winds up finding things he should definitely not be eating.
So I’m working on play… but this got me thinking about our own needs as humans. If you read on the interwebs everyone will tell you:
Water, daily movement, 10,000 steps, the gym, protein, eat vegetables, go to sleep at a decent hour, read > scrolling. Check those boxes every damn day.
And I am not here to say that any of that is wrong or bad… but I’m wondering… what if we considered “play” a need of ours, too? What if we prioritized things that brought us joy and delight? What if we did something that served no purpose other than the reality that it’s fun and we feel better? What might happen to our mental health, our sense of joy and sense of self and overall wellness?
I’m not saying this is the “key” because I definitely do not believe in that idea, however, I think it’s definitely part of this puzzle and something that is so easily overlooked… especially when you’re a dang grown up.
Soooo here’s an invitation, perhaps, to make space for “play.” And honestly, I have no idea what that will look like in your life… but maybe it’s ok and necessary even to ask yourself this:
What do I just like to do?
What brings me sheer pleasure or delight?
When I do this thing _________, I always find myself smiling.
Maybe it’s… baking, video games, cartwheels, dance parties, a good meal that you don’t have to prepare or clean up, movie nights, campfires, reading a fiction book, jumping on a trampoline, laying in a hammock, inviting dear friends over, late night ice-cream runs with your kids, crafts, make-up tutorials on youtube, good sex, Zumba classes (do they have those anymore??), bubble baths, swinging at the playground, there are so many things….
What if we made some space for this? What if play and delight actually matter and what if we could look at our lives as more than just a checklist of boxes to mark off each day and an actual life to live?
