Ok. Let’s do this. This is the year. We are making it happen.
- No more sugar.
- Way less drinking.
- It’s time to reign in the spending.
- I should be reading at least 2 books a month.
- I’m going to work-out everyday.
- 10,000 steps a day for life.
- No screens after 9pm, every freaking day.
- I should probably drink a green smoothie every day, too.
- Get that morning routine in order.
- Oh and setting that social media time limit on my phone.
- And saving. Start saving up for retirement, right.
Y’all. I’m so exhausted from just typing up this list. And most of us do this to ourselves at the beginning of every year.
We create this perfect version of ourselves in our heads and create rules for how we are finally going to get there. And it’s exhausting. And honestly, just burns us out.
New Year, New You.
I’m so done.
But hear me… I’m not done with growth, change, aligning habits, self-care and self-respect, creating healthier rhythms. I’m just done with our development as HUMANS being reduced down to perfectly followed through plans and rules.
I’m done with constantly believing that there is a perfect or even “better” version of myself out there, somewhere, who drinks green smoothies and has a solid savings account.
Maybe there’s a different way?
Maybe there’s a way that shifts the focus away from perfection and focuses on the larger picture.
What if, instead of focusing all of my attention on rules and behaviors, I instead chose to focus on how I relate to myself, others and things?
Because here’s the deal… any change we are making that is rooted in shame, perfectionism, hatred or guilt, WILL NOT LAST. I promise (I know this both from my work as a therapist and my own experience as a fellow human).
Instead of just eating veggies and not eating carbs >> I want to relate to my body in a (pick YOUR word: healthy, kind, respectful, attuned, honest, comforting, compassionate, etc) way.
Instead of demanding perfection with spending and saving >> I want to learn to relate to my money in a (responsible, aware, kind, reasonable, etc) way.
Instead of creating the perfect morning routine that you can never mess up >> I want to create a morning for myself that provides (gentleness, rhythm, empowerment, etc).
The thing is, when we reduce ourselves down to behaviors, it takes away from our fullness as people. And so shifting our perspective away from checklists, resolutions and behavior management towards our relationships (with self, things, others) allows for our fullness to exist. And it’s no longer a pass or fail, all or nothing, kind of thing.
I am pro-growth. I am pro-developing ourselves.
I am just so over doing it from a place of self-hatred and shame.
Because the you that existed in 2022, is good.
And the you that will develop is 2023, she’s good, too.
